In that scenario, I am Brain. 
Here's the scoop.

As you know. I've been working for a DJ friend of mine who broke his hip. I've been doing so for about 4 months now. He has this other guy who fills in from time to time.
Let me explain the other guy.
"Herb" is nice enough. Shy. Works very hard (in a factory). Very dependable. Quiet. And absolutely no personality what-so-ever. Not kidding about this. Herb is like goo. He'll take the shape of whatever form you put him in, take him out of the form, and he just puddles. When he attempts a personality shift on his own, he always manages to find the most offensive type to take on. He went through a long phase of being obnoxious and lewd. Until, as a group, we told him to stop. It was funny for a minute. The minute was long over. We try to guide him into being social. But sometimes he seems content being left behind. Which is fine, except for DJing. 

You may ask why my DJ friend has Herb working for him. I sometimes wonder the same thing. So do other people. But. Sometimes, I have somewhere else to play, and can't do the gig that my friend gets in, so ta da...enter Herb. Herb is fine for weddings, where things are quite somber sometimes. But for the most part. Herb can't do the job as it's meant to be done. He doesn't know music very well. Unless it's country.  I've tried to teach him. Played name that tune. But he's shown no interest in learning any of it. 

Now. There's this place I play on Thursday nights. Penny's. I love the place. I like the strange people. I have a great time there. We play games, I make up silly news stories, I attempt to bring them new line dances. We have fun.  We also do Saturday nights there. When I say we, I mean me. And guess what Herb did? He somehow talked my friend into giving him the Saturday nights at Penny's. I think my friend wants to make sure Herb will agree to fill in the future, so he let him have them.
Thing about that is, once the regulars at Penny's found out what was happening., they started to complain. To me. 
Not fair.
I told them to complain to Penny. The owner of the bar. If Herb sucked that much. The only way they would be rid of him, is to complain to the lady that owns the place, so she can tell Jerry that she does not want Herb there.
See, Herb has a little problem relating to some people. When I say some, I mean a lot. If you're someone he doesn't like, he won't play what you ask him to, or skip you in karaoke rotation. And one of the bartenders thinks Herb is racist. She has "adopted" kids. Some are black. And one night, when Herb was down there, they asked for songs, and Herb didn't play them. Now. Gale is a nice lady. She's very down to earth, but screw with her "kids" and you've done it.

Then, my friend Val, who went to this last Saturday's show, reported back to me that he's imitating me. Or at least he's trying. But he's failing.  I asked what she meant by imitating me, she said "He's playing the exact same songs you played on Thursday night after he showed up." You mean he was copying me? "Yes. And badly." She went on to tell me that he played all the high energy dance songs, early in the evening when hardly anyone was in the mood to dance. Then he had this "1-2-3" kind of thing going with the line dances. (NEVER play more than two line dances back to back!) The he was playing country the rest of the night. He was putting off requests. And forgot a few. Trying to make jokes. But Herb mumbles so bad that you can't understand what he's saying on the mic. I'm not making this up. I swear.

I know that place. There's no where else in town to go dance. They come to Penny's to do that. And here Herb is, ruining the groove I had them set into.

I'm all for Herb expanding his horizons. I know that imitation is suppose to be a compliment. But he just can't pull it off.  This is going to sound egotistical, I swear it's not. I'm not the worlds greatest DJ, BUT I know what I'm doing. He's going to be screwed the first time they come up and say.. "You know that song that goes....." and proceed to sing or say a few lines from it. He won't know. Sometimes, I even get a little stuck. But I figure it out. I know that crew. They have odd tastes in music. And sometimes you have to tell them no on certain songs, because they aren't danceable, or they are just mood crashers.  The refusal has to be done gently. You have to explain why you aren't going to play it. They know me, and they are ok with what I tell them. Herb, they already don't like. Not that he'd tell them no. Cause he doesn't know any better.

Ah. I suppose it's going to take a week or two before they get tired of him and complain to Penny like I told them too. We'll see. I'd prefer to have my Saturday nights there back. I miss those people. Plus, I had been talking with Penny about having "theme" nights. Like 80's night. Or something like that. Herb can't do that. My DJ friend knows this. But let Herb have Saturdays anyway. Which is the night we planned on attempting some of these parties. Now. I don't think they will happen. Which will tick Penny off a little bit.  She seemed excited about the ideas I had.

Ohh. I've ranted long time.    Sorry.

Other than that. My world's going alright. I've gotten my car paid off, now it's back to building my computer. I'm serious this time. I'm determined to have this thing built by two weeks time. I can do it. I just really have to tell myself no. A LOT! That's the key to saving money. Telling yourself no. And meaning it.

Well, I'm off to find some silly stories to tell my audience for the next two days.

Hope this found you well.

Ali

The Misfit Chick